Complete Surrender

Coming from Monterrey in Mexico I arrived to New York in time for the RDS and following inauguration of the new Jagrti in Flushing. We were few acaryas but everybody did his best to attend if not to the RDS at least to the inauguration which was happening on October 4th. Dada Diiptimananda had prepared the program in full detail and everything went smoothly with the participation of margi and acaryas all together. The next morning I planned to leave before 5 am in order to reach Boston from where I would have been flying the next morning. One acarya commented that I could have planned to leave after breakfast in order to enjoy the spiritual company as we would not have opportunity to meet again for quite a good time. I felt guilty.

In the morning I was up at 4 am and before 5 am I bid farewell to Dada Shankarananda who was already in the Dharma Cakra ready for Painca Janya. He was very brisk, like when something is not right. I went to get the bus and I arrived at the bus station well in time. I thought that for sure I had to surrender and attend the Painca Janya even if I was going to be late in order to catch the bus. As I didn't follow such course of action I was also sure that the bus was going to leave late just to make me understand the mistake.

The bus was leaving at 7 am. There was a big queue and it became soon clear that the driver was not there as expected. I went out of the queue and I sat in meditation knowing perfectly what was going to happen next. In fact the driver came one hour late and finally the bus left. Everybody was so upset with greyhound and the driver was able to remain cool apologizing profusely on behalf of the company.  I was thinking at Baba and what would could have come next.

Next morning the flight was at 10 am and I had to do check in as it was going to connect for international to Mexico City. My hosts had arranged to bring me to a shuttle bus in order to facilitate my arrival in time at the airport. We were a bit late on the schedule but still fine. As we approached the bus stop we were bumped from a young boy and we stopped. The police was right there. The boy was very sorry but there was no further damage besides the front of his car and the risk to loose the flight. At the time we were again on the road it was really getting late. At the bus station the bus had already left and there was no bus for a while. There was no alternative but to drive directly to airport.

I was very calm and relaxed as everything was happening without my control. The driver told me that in the morning had a discussion whether we were going to be late and we were forced to drive to the airport. That is exactly what was happening although nobody could foresee that it was going to happen due to a car accident. I felt even more relaxed. This time I surrender completely. Even when we got lost in the middle of Boston I knew that everything was going to be just right. A police person gave us the right directions imposing his voice over the driver that was becoming a bit frantic. A last effort of determination and I was dropped at the terminal running for the ticket counter.

The was a long queue for the general people. I was in full uniform and I dashed to the first class counter telling that I had an accident and I was a missionary person. Actually I had the mission to deliver a computer that was barely needed at destination. The flight attendant happened to be Italian and when she saw my passport she started speaking in Italian about her family born in my home town and about herself born in Sicily. But it was late and the gate was already closed. She called the company and managed to have the gate opened again. She accompanied me to the security in order to get a preferential line and finally she bade farewell.

My bag didn't pass the check. It was kept for a while waiting to inspection. I was literally frying. I relaxed as everything was just going to be right. The security finally opened the bag and sized three big jars of nut butters destined to be brought as a gift. I was feeling bad as they could have passed if the bag was going to be checked in. The security officer was offering to keep the empty jars. I declined politely and I dashed to the gate. The bag was checked in just as a cosmic reminder of what I should have done. I was in the place and the door was shut. 

I was on fasting day and when I arrived at destination I was received with special attention. The mission was completed and the computer had been handed over. I could not sleep in the night but I was relaxed and happy. That is how on the following day after breaking the fast I went out for pracar and I kept going until evening. One of the place I visited was an acupuncture clinic very close to the place I was living. I spoke at length with the doctor inspiring him on the path of spirituality. I invited him after the clinic hours to come to the center.

He didn't come neither that evening nor the following. The morning after I went to the clinic and he was not there. Instead there was another doctor who is working with him as a cooperative. I was not feeling good and I told my symptoms. Soon after I was on a bed with the doctor sticking needles in different parts of the body. The other doctor also arrived as something happened and he had to cancel the service planned in the countryside. That was another cosmic arrangement. They worked for three hours on my body which was quite a long session. I asked for a bicycle as part of the therapy. 

The first doctor brought me at his house and I had a bicycle. It was getting dark and we planned to meet 7 am next morning at a gas station for a ride before he had to go to the clinic by 10 am. It was again my fasting day and it was against any sound logic to accept going for a bike ride on fasting. I was advised not to fast at least but I prefer to stick to the word and let whatever happen for the good.

On the highway I was fast wearing out. I asked the doctor to stop for a meditation place. He suggested to stop on the side of the highway but the noise was too much. We continued until I saw a cemetery. When I saw it I told him that I wanted to stop there and so we did. We entered the cemetery leaving the bicycles on the side of the highway. He told me that he was afraid they could steal them. I told him with confidence that it was not going to happen. I explained that when there is a higher purpose nature serves that higher purpose and fulfill that desires. 

It happened to be a cemetery that was familiar to him. There were his ancestors there but he could not recognize the grave. We sat under a pine tree and we started meditation. After initiation we went back and the bicycle were still in place. I mentioned that I was likely to visit the cemetery the night itself as it was a wonderful place.

I accompanied him at his house and then I made for town feeling that the day was not yet over. Although on fasting I managed to visit a couple of more places and finally I headed to the clinic. I arranged to be at the house of the doctor that evening in order to visit the cemetery during the night. Early in the morning I was welcomed back at my place. 

In the morning after breakfast I went again to the clinic. During the previous visit I was suggested to visit a eye clinic as I had a suspect glaucoma. It was the right time to make a visit to the clinic and I went there in order to take appointment. It was possible to arrange a visit with the specialist with a short notice and I could finally relax for some time.

I went to see the eye specialist and the diagnosis was without the possibility of appeal: glaucoma. A procedure was initiated and I was given eye drops to take every 12 hours and at night before bed. I was told by the specialist that the eye drops have pronounced side effects and once you start with them it is for life. I went back to the acupuncture clinic to see my doctors. They were in favor of an alternative therapy based on acupuncture and natural remedies. They detected that the root cause of the problem was not the glaucoma but rather in the digestive system.

What to do? I decided to have a strict dietary regime without milk products and almost no grains. Lots of fruits and vegetables besides some herbal remedies prescribed by my doctors. My supervisor supported the idea and suggested to do long meditation in order to lower the arterial blood pressure. Will it be enough to reverse a glaucoma? Yes, one think, to be happy and to smile. Everything happens by His grace.


At distance of three weeks after a glorious fasting without water I decided it was time to check the eye condition and I went to an optician who was offering free computerized examination. I was confident as I was not feeling any pressure in the head. The secret, I thought, was that after fasting is very important to have a complete evacuation of the feces in the intestines. It makes a day and night difference. The eye doctor took the exam and he told me that I didn't have glaucoma. he considered that even the high altitude of the location may have influenced the previous reading. What was really surprising for him is that he found astigmatism only in the right eye. I told him that I had astigmatism in both eyes. His reply was - impossible. Eventually I will bring the lens and verify what was the previous reading but at this time I don't want to have new lenses. Doctor told me that this can cause glaucoma due to the strain in the eyes for seeing. But I don't want to see. I am happy with the freedom given by a poor eyesight that oblige me to depend on others for directions, guidance and care. Others eyes will be always better than mine and in the time my eyes will get their normal shape and right behavior. I am sure.

The acupuncture doctors are thrilled about the results but I know that this is not progress. If I don't follow a strict diet and a strict discipline in the spiritual practices glaucoma will reappear in no time. One of the yogic practices that I started is sun bathing. It is so wonderful to take bath in the morning and to dry in the sun in the open air. Still the liver is not working properly but the remedy in nature is very simple. Eat green and see the green color. My doctor Pavitra brought me to walk in the forest and I enjoyed it a lot. This morning I walked at the water falls near the jagrti which are known in Spanish as "El Salto" or the jump. Is a tourist place that nowadays is no more attended due to the pollution of the water and the garbage dumped around. Such a pity but yet it is a natural place and I am sure some positive microvita are still surviving there.

I sent one margi to get acupuncture treatment and the doctors offered me a crash course in emergency acupuncture which I am willing to take. It seems that a new window is opening in my life and I will be happy to let the sunshine enter through it. Today is November 1 which in Mexico is a big day and tomorrow is even bigger. It is the tradition to remember the ancestors by going to the cemetery during the day and also during the night for sharing with the departed dear ones food and flowers. All the cemetery are so beautiful during these days and the atmosphere is also very uplifting. It is a very meaningful tradition that brings people closer to the true meaning of our existence, beyond life and death.